I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
