I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
