How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
