He asked to "fluff my boner.."
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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