Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just pee around me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
