they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
