Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize