who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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