so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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