Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
