yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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