dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
