They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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