At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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