is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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