i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize