he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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