Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
