can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
