Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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