I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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