Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
