i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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