i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
