So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
