I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
