Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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