What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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