Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
