no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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