i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
