His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
a search helicopter?!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
