If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
