He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize