if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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