I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
