Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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