I need help removing her.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
