a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
