The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
