how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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