I'm lost and stupid without you.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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