Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
