You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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