I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
