I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize