Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My dick has a subreddit
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
