she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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