I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think your dad took our porno
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
