I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
