why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
