do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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