please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
