i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
