What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
