Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
