Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
