Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize