Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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