Banned from zoo.
Again?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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