The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
