hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
