i wish there were pregnant emoticons
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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